8 phases of dating
Seriously, people said the most offensive shit to me — from commenting about how embarrassed I must be to attend my brother’s wedding alone to how I might have better luck if I straightened my hair on first dates. In order to stay sane through long stretches of singlehood, you’re going to have to drown out all that noise and remember that it doesn’t matter what other people think. Like the big one: when you’ll meet the right person for you. The sooner that you accept that you cannot control that, the easier your life will be. Then you’ll go through dating fatigue and erase your online profile and sit in a dark room for weeks. It allows you to go out on a series of horrible, mortifying dates or be rejected a stupid amount of times and shrug your shoulders and realize that it has nothing to do with you. Oh, I thought things were going great and then he told me that he had an allergic reaction before our date and then I never heard from him again. Comparing yourself to other people is always a waste of energy, but when I was single, I had this perception that being in love made your problems go away. So how do you cultivate the kind of patience that takes years?
It will allow you to focus on what’s really important: enjoying your life and being the best person you can be — singled or coupled. Then you’ll embrace your hiatus and do ME TIME to the extreme. This was a term coined by a college friend of mine. Oh, he’s a 37-year-old polyamorous intern with a child and wife in a mental institution and he didn’t feel the need to disclose this BEFORE we went on a date? Being in love is great, but if anything, I’ve found that it makes you have to face your problems more honestly because there is another person there staring you in the face. Be as happy for all those people as you’ll want them to be for you when it’s your turn. Stay focused on what you ultimately want and in the meantime, be the best person you can be.
To cope with all the hopelessness, bitterness, loneliness, panic, frustration and feelings of failure I was experiencing, I wrote an open letter to my single self.
Although I didn’t believe it at the time, I gave myself the most awesome advice. Love is a mystery that you can’t harness or control or elicit or will.
This configuration will be sold only in pairs, in a box available exclusively in Breguet Boutiques and also containing a pair of cufflinks and a matching gem set pendant.
Two of the 18-carat red-gold models will also be available with a grand feu enamelled dial, including one version set with diamonds.
To quote myself to myself (how meta), my main point was that I should be patient and do nothing: “In waiting, you’ve grown impatient at times and have tried to force things that weren’t meant to be, fought too hard for something that you knew was wrong, held on too tight to something that was already dead and gone, or pushed people away out of fear. Accept that it’s a mystery and sit down, shut up, enjoy your freaking life, and patiently wait your turn.”, because, like I said, I had lost faith, even in the truth of my own words. Exactly what I told myself to do — be patient and wait my turn — was precisely what led to me running smack into the love relationship I was waiting for. I ran into him on the subway one day and the rest was a wonderful mystery.
I look at him sometimes and say, “Why were we both on the same subway car that day? Even though I’m in love, I don’t have single amnesia in the least. I can’t remember who said it now, but a Buddhist philosopher talked about cultivating a lifelong, unconditional friendship with yourself. Sometimes, during my long ass single stretch, I would get jealous watching my friends get snapped up left and right.
The Arabic numerals on the enamelled version are those created by the illustrious watchmaker for his first watches and clocks.
Slender, legible and elegant, they are so representative of his style that today they bear his name: Breguet numerals.